On the other side of the counter – Part One

Every day I get home from work my level of annoyance at a variety of patrons on the other side of the retail counter gets elevated. All I can do is grin and shake my head. More specifically, this series of rants is about a wide range of these goofies. I have selected a few of the prevalent ones that come to mind easily. First, all the “wanna be” and “old school” mechanics. Second, the “this-auta-work” mechanics. And last for now, the “parts emissary”.

First up, the “wanna be” “old school” mechanics.

Mechanic Pirate I get tired of trying to educate the “so called” mechanics as to how the new cars work and how to troubleshoot the problem at hand. And unfortunately many of these same people are “licensed” and “Certified” mechanics! Please don’t throw your certification in my face during a conversation in a parts store as to how to fix or troubleshoot a problem. And I really don’t give a damn about how long you have been working on cars. Apparently you suck at it or you wouldn’t be asking me, the guy behind the parts counter, what to do now would we?

I know times are tough but just because you don’t want to learn the new technology,and/or invest in the right tools, don’t make the people you are trying to help pay with their wallet to do your guess work! And before you do anything else… Get Some Damn Metric tools! Sockets, allen wrenches and Torx. Welcome to the real world! Most of the vehicles for the last 20 years or so, and a lot of the consumer products too, for that matter, are METRIC! It’s not kind of close to SAE, it’s METRIC! It just bugs the fire out of me to hear ” What do you have that’s about a 1 1/16th but that doesn’t fit snug.” You have been sleeping under a rock not to already own these tools. I really have no sympathy, or patience with these people. This includes the Parts Galore fix it people.Now I am not a rocket scientist but if you need it to get the part off at Parts Galore then you just might need it to put it on your vehicle. And you may even need it again for that same vehicle. Just sayin! And to add insult to injury they purchase the tool in question, use it, and instead of keeping it to fill out their tool box they bring it back “because I didn’t need it”. Really .. you used it and now your bringing it back because you’re a cheap ASSHAT!

Next you may want to educate yourself on the “NEW”, last 20 years, technology. Fuel injection and computer controlled systems are here to stay. Deal with it! And all the technology is not just the ignition module or a fuse! And most of the primary parts are expensive and intertwined with extensive wiring and control systems. You need to also step up and learn how to deal with the OBD (On Board Diagnostic) codes. Let me say this about that, OBD never, ever, calls out a part. A system yes, a part, NO! Learn how to read codes and interpret them. They may actually clue you in to what is going on. Guessing is expensive. And since they are electrical parts, once you install them they are yours. I have lost count the times that someone buys a part, asking if it can be returned if they “don’t need it” or “if that doesn’t fix it”. Gee, that wasn’t too obvious was it?! Test and return. Then when they come in and ask what could the problem be for a whatever problem, and you give them he laundry list of common sense possibilities they get this blanked out stare, usually followed by a statement in the line of “well, how much are those parts?”

All I can do at that point is give them the big laundry list of parts and wish them luck! They’ll be back! Enough of that. On to the next bag of Goofies!

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bzerob

I am an aging American Navy veteran with some very pointed and acidic opinions. Feel free to heed the warning and read on.

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